In 2004 I published a book about my childhood experience of sexual abuse and its effects. Below is a description and a link to my book on Barnes and Noble’s web site. It is not an easy book to read, and if you have any personal issues with sexual abuse it would probably be very triggering. But other victims have said it was affirming to read words that expressed how they felt, too.
What I want to share here, in this forum, is not the story of my abuse, however, but my reflections on suffering. Trauma is trauma. Childhood sexual abuse left many scars; the loss of my son has created new ones. Both have caused me to question my faith in God’s goodness and even in God’s existence. Perhaps by posting some of my previous insights I will be able to process my current doubts more easily. Perhaps I can provide some support to others struggling to reconcile evil and suffering in their lives with the existence of a loving and all-powerful God. Perhaps.
. . .
From Hurt to Healing
A child is abused by a priest. Thirty years later, afraid of hurting her own children, she faces her past and begins to heal, only to discover that she is not the only victim in her family. She was the third; there would eventually be a fourth. This is her true story. Journey with her through her personal and spiritual reflections, journal entries, affirmations, and poetry. Experience her fears of abusing her own children, her struggles with anger and intimacy, her confrontation with her family, her re-creation of her image of God, and her re-commitment to her Catholic faith.
Mona Villarrubia, Publish America, 2004
For those of you who may be interested in the book, click on the image below.